Sunday, 31 July 2016

Gender reveal: the when and the why

The second question that people have asked, after a trepidatious 'how have you been feeling' has usually been a variation of 'do you know what it is?' 'are you finding out?'. A few haven't managed to hide their disappointment when they learn that the gender reveal will be happening, as nature
intended, in December when this baby decides it's time to meet us. 'How can you wait?' They say? 'I couldn't do it, I'd have to know' they shriek. People have very strong opinions on this matter. Whether they're close friends or the lady in the post office queue. They have an opinion and it's usually that we should blooming well find out! I don't mind the question, per-se. I don't even mind their disbelief, their assertions that they couldn't not know or the assumption that I must have really strong willpower. I don't. Leave me within arms reach of a bar of dairy milk for five minutes and you'll learn that I have the willpower of a gnat. I swear chocolate winks at me.

The truth is that it takes no willpower at all, because I just don't want to know. Not because I don't care, but because I really, really don't mind. It will be a girl or a boy. A mini me or a mini Tom, and I will love either. I have absolutely no preference. None at all. This baby is going to change our world, girl or boy I don't think anyone can quite prepare themselves for how they will feel and I don't think being able to project the future with one or the other gender would be helpful, or at all accurate. This reasoning does not sit well with the enquirer, the enquirer has become emboldened. I have now become a challenge, I simply must have a preference.

'How will you decorate the nursery though', they say, wouldn't it just be easier to know? From what I've heard, nothing about caring for a tiny, screaming human slots into the easy category. Will they scream less if they have a blue teddy, rather than a pink one? Do they care whether they're wearing violet or azure, as long as they're fed and warm? I'm a girl, always have been, I wear blue dresses with pink nail varnish. I expect I will dress the baby the same, except without the nail varnish. Until they are about 16! But you get the point. Gender norms are so passé, aren't they? I have nothing against a boy in blue and a girl in pink, or vice a versa, but a whole wardrobe of one or the other could be quite wearing and the not knowing means that people will buy white, and you can't beat a new baby in white.

Ok, they understand this, they say, but they've thought of something else. They try 'wouldn't Tom like to know?' No. He wouldn't, in fact, to be honest the first time we discussed it was the first time someone asked, we happened to be together. I said no, we won't be finding out, and he said nothing. Not because I'm the boss, but because he had assumed the same. It didn't even cross my mind to discuss it with my husband. So far from our minds was the aspect of finding out that he only just remembered to furnish the sonographer with this information as she started scanning. My only concern is a healthy baby. And that's that.

So you're going to have to wait, I'm afraid.

What did you decide? I'd love to hear in the comments below...

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