Tuesday, 21 November 2017

Baby & Me: Eleven months

Somehow the baby has gone from ten months old to "nearly one" in the space of a few days. I can remember looking at those mums, with the babies at playgroups who were crawling around the room and thinking, firstly, don't come near my newborn, you giant baby, and secondly, they're so different from me, they must have it all sorted. I've learnt that you don't get it all sorted, every stage brings a new challenge but I can safely say that I enjoy mothering a nearly-one-year-old much more than that poor refluxy newborn. Here's what's been happening in our world.

She's crawling and climbing up the stairs, and although she'll walk holding on to my hand she still has no interest in walking unaided. I'm pretty sure it's a good thing because she can only get so far so quickly right now but I am feeling pressure that I should buy her some of those 'pre walkers'. She's currently just wearing those soft sole leather shoes, she does ok in them but she probably could do with a bit more grip!

She's sleeping quite well, one or two naps in the day and a 12 hour stretch at night (touch wood), but she has been waking up with what I can only imagine are night terrors. She starts screaming and flailing around while still asleep and seems really disturbed by them, they only happen at night, around the same time each night and don't take too long to recover from but it's still a bit heartbreaking.

She's wearing size 12 months clothes now and all of her 6-9 stage have gone up in the loft, it's getting a bit tight up there but I don't have the brain space for decisions so there they'll stay. She needs the next stage up but it's much more tricky finding cute vintagey pieces once they're NEARLY-A-YEAR (that gets me every time I say it!).

She's eating well now, she'll pretty much eat anything and I do a mixture of baby-led and shove-it-in-quick approaches. I've all but given up breastfeeding her at night, I've been trying to express enough for her to have it from a bottle but it's taking three rounds of expression to fill her up, which just isn't sustainable. I've tried the oats and the fluids, nothing works. It's quite nice to hand her over at bedtime and let Tom do that whole routine though.

I did a birth reflections session at the hospital. It was brilliant, really insightful, respectful, pragmatic  and wholly worth doing. It was back at the hospital, in the part everyone waits for their scan, I'm sure people were looking at me with G in the pram thinking 'you're brave'! The meeting was with a male midwife who went through my whole experience from start to finish and we talked about what I could do differently next time. I think I knew most of it but there were big gaps in my memory that I think my brain had blocked out. He also explained why things happened the way they did and we both agreed that the midwives and docs did all the right things, my body just didn't want to give the baby up! I was never angry at the hospital anyway but it's good to know. I really feel like I've put the trauma and the anger to bed. Don't get me wrong I'm still cross about the whole Wise Hippo debacle but it doesn't occupy my thoughts unless someone asks me about it. I was talking to two other mums this morning, they were sharing their stories and I mostly just listened, I told them the trailer of my birth but didn't recount the whole film. I think that's when I knew I must be ok now.

I have been trying to recruit a new mum-crew lately, since my original friends started going back to work, the days have started looking a bit bleak again! I know that the organised groups are the best for a good mum-chum but I just can't bring myself to cough up £7 a session for someone to overstimulate the baby. I think once she's a little bit older I might dig deep for some tumble tots. So I've been on Peanut and Mush, went to a meet-up which was nice, and met a few mums but lots of them had little ones so I'm not really at the same stage, and my baby has never been coffee shop friendly, even less so now she's crawling. I know that I should put a post up saying 'anyone with nearly-one's that want to go somewhere baby friendly?' but I'm just hanging out, hoping someone else does. Because as much as we're all there for the same reason nobody really wants to be that person saying 'I need a friend'.

Hormones are a funny ol' thing aren't they? I presume that the decreased milk supply is causing some sort of hormone surge that's letting all of my hair go. I miss it. I don't have much in the first place and handfuls coming out in the shower is becoming more than a little distressing. When will it end? Another funny symptom is BO, body odour, yeah we're going to talk about that now! I thought I'd just found a good deodorant when my clothes lasted more than one wear without so much of a whiff of armpit but with the hair loss has come serious BO issues. So that's nice.

That's us at 11 months, BO and all! See you next month for the BIG ONE! 


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